Help Me
by Lady Melodist
Summary: Every part in Sora's life was like a big cry for help that no one would listen to. Except Riku, Sora's closest friend in life. But will a new face ruin Sora's seemingly perfect life with Riku? Will it cause Sora to cry out for help? Will anyone hear?
1. Before it Happened

(Author's Note: DO NOT PRINT OR STEAL MY WORK! THIS FICTION STAYS HERE AND ONLY HERE UNLESS I SAY SO! COPYING OR PRINTING IS STEALING!)  
(**Caution: This fic contains sexual content, hence the setting put to MATURE. If you can't handle it, evacuate the area immediately!)**

The room was spinning; I was lying on a bed and felt sick and drunk out of my mind. It was dark but the light from the street laps dimmed the room in a faint orange glow. In the background, I could hear the muffled sounds of music and chatter. The sounds of a party that I wound up at and then had too many.

"Don't worry, you'll enjoy this," said the voice of a red head I had thought was my friend who I see hovering over me with his shirt off.

"No…" I tried to say in protest, though it came out mumbled and almost unheard, I couldn't think straight.

I tried to push him off but he had pinned down both my wrists, my body not having any strength left and it was hard to keep my eyes open at this point.

"It'll be fun, you'll see," he said again, that friend who I thought I could rely on when the person I cared about most deserted me.

'_Riku…'_ The one thought that I could put into my head without it being all muddled out with the alcohol. The one person I needed the most at this moment but had already pushed away. '_Help me…'_

**---Three Days before the Party---**

"Riku's coming, Riku's coming!" I exclaimed as I shook my twin brother's arm vigorously in my excitement.

Riku, the reason for my excitement, has been my best friend ever since I was a little kid. My twin, Roxas, didn't really like him all that much since Riku has a bit of a cocky attitude that get's on his nerves. But I don't mind. Riku always made me laugh no matter what.

"Calm down, Sora," Roxas heavily sighed as he shrugged off my grip on his arm before he rolled his eyes. "Riku's only been gone a couple weeks. Why do you always go crazy when you see that loser?"

"He's not a loser, Roxas!" I snapped back before giving his shoulder a good punch that made my brother wince and yelp. "Stop being jealous!"

"Sora, Riku's here," called my mother's voice from the living room.

I made a loud, excited squeal before I ran down the stairs from my brother rooms to the living room. There stood Riku in the door frame as he entered the room and as I ran full speed down the stairs, I crashed right into him and we tumbled back off the porch and into the bushes.

"Holy crap, Sora, it's good to see you too," Riku laughed, a bit winded when he blinked up at me, a smile on his lips that showed his flawless teeth.

"I missed you!" I whined as I nuzzled his shoulder while lightly punching his chest because he was gone for so long. "You abandoned me to go look at collages!"

"I'm graduating soon!" Riku whined back, wincing with my punches and without me noticing, he found my sides and started to tickle me.

"No, Riku, stop!" I couldn't help but laugh, squirming like mad as I tried to get away from him.

"Stop what? This?" questioned Riku as he tickled me more, making me scream and fall off of him onto the dirt.

"Will you two shut up! Mom, they're acting like idiots _again!_" shouted Roxas from inside before I heard a window slam shut.

"OK, I think we should go inside," Riku chuckled as he pushed himself up before he helped me up and dusted off the dirt from my clothing.

"Sure thing, Riku," I replied cheerfully, giggling as I took his hand and lead him into the house. "And you can tell me all about your collage search trip while I get you a soda."

"Make it two sodas for me 'cause man I have so much to tell you," he said, smiling as he gripped my hand tightly.

I missed Riku like crazy and I was just as reluctant to let go of his hand as he was.

"So, tell me about this amazing adventure you had," I said as I sat down on the couch after I handed Riku his two can's of soda. I just had a glass of cranberry juice since I didn't like drinking caffeine at nine at night, nearing ten.

"Well, it was only the first collage that I got hit on by a bunch of collage girls," Riku began, a faint smile on his face as he gave a light blush. Girls always made Riku a bit nervous because of a reason only I knew of.

"I thought you weren't going to date any girls for a while, not after Naminé, your last girl friend, dumped you," I said as I shook my head at him, smiling as well even though I felt an ache in my chest at the idea of Riku seeing someone. His last girlfriend took up most of Riku's time so I hardly saw him.

"She didn't dump me!" Riku retorted, his face getting flushed as he looked away from me and down at his soda. "She just…thought to let it down easy so to strengthen our relationship by just being friends…"

"Oh really?" I questioned with a skeptical tone, raising an eyebrow at Riku. "Then why were you crying for an hour after you two broke it up and you came right over to my house. I still have the tear stains in my shirt you know."

"Sora!" snapped Riku as he made a dumfounded look at me and I had to suppress the giggles that were fighting their way up my throat. "You promised not to talk about that again!"

"Ok, Ok I'm sorry, Riku," I apologized, making a sad and guilty puppy dog face at him. "I guess I'm just a little upset about the fact that you're going off to some big collage and leaving me behind for some smart collage girl."

"I'm not leaving you behind," said Riku with a stunned look on his face before he scooted over on the couch and hugged me tightly. "You're my best friend, Sora, there's no way I'm leaving you alone."

"If you say so, Riku," I muttered softly so that he couldn't hear it as I returned the hug, enjoying it since it may be the last hug I could ever get from Riku.

He was going off to collage in another state and…I would be all alone again because I could never fit in with anyone at school. Expect for Riku. At this point, Riku was the only – and the best – thing in my life.


	2. Remembering The Next Day

I was at school, feeling as lonely as could be since Riku was no longer in school and Roxas had class now. Damn, I hate being alone. It wasn't fun at all.

But when Riku was around…I never felt alone, not even for a second. It was kind of funny how our friendship began. We were fairly young, though I've been with Riku so long that the number of our age at the time escaped me. All I knew was that Riku was about a year older than me. When we met, I couldn't forget that day:

I was sitting on the grass near the playground…alone; like I always was. My brother Roxas wasn't there. He hated the playground. He insisted on any sort of school his age would take. Everyone else was laughing and having fun but not me since I was too scared to play with anyone. I just plucked out blades of grass one by one until I felt like telling my mom I wanted to go home.

But this day was different. As I kept my attention on the grass, a ball suddenly fell out of no where right in front of me. I was shocked at the sudden appearance and looked up. There were two kids – boys – who I earlier noticed were playing kick ball back and fourth with each other.

To me, they both looked funny. One had the most wildly fire red hair I had ever seen while the other had abnormal white hair. It must be a really rare trait, I remember thinking to myself. Well, the boy with the red hair noticed me by their ball but didn't make a move towards me. It was the silver haired one that took the steps closer.

"Wait," the red head said to him, thinking he was speaking softly so that I couldn't hear, but I could. "Don't go near that kid, he's a freak."

"What are you talking about?" the silver haired boy asked as he casted a glance at me. "He's not doing anything wrong."

"Didn't you know? All that kid does is be by himself, just sits there on the grass and not play with anyone," the kid informed his friend in a tone that the other should have known this already.

"Well, you can't blame him," snapped the other as he brushed the other's hand off his shoulder that was holding him back. "With you guys acting like this, I'd want to be by myself too. You're just mean."

It actually…made me happy to hear a total stranger stick up for me like that.

"Hey, could you toss me that?" asked the kid with the unusual hair as he stood a few feet from me. He was smiling so nicely and he pointed to the kick ball in front of me.

*I remember staring at him, for the longest time before I nodded and tossed it to him. And you want to know what he did? He smiled. _Smiled._ No kid on the whole playground smiled at me so…friendly. They only laughed or teased me. I idolized that smile.

"My name's Riku," he said as he held the ball under one arm against his side and he spoke nicely as well. "What's your name?"

Wow, it really sounded like he wanted to know my name.

"S-Sra…" I mostly mumbled, not looking at him since talking wasn't my best talent.

"Sarah?" Riku asked, sounding a bit confused as he tilted his head at me a bit. "That's a funny name for a boy. You're a boy right?"

"Sora," I corrected as I nodded my head to the 'if I was a boy question', speaking a bit more clearly and feeling very ashamed at myself and very embarrassed.

"Now that's a much better name," he said, smile still bright, showing no meaning to tease me of it. "It's a great name. I like it."

"Riku, hurry up already! I want to play before I have to go home for dinner!" shouted the other boy who kept his fair distance from me.

"Well, Sora, if you want to play with me, I would be happy if you did," said Riku as he waved to me and turned, walking back to his friend.

That was the start of it; our childhood friendship that grew with each passing day, little by little.

The next day in the park, I was again sitting on the grass, playing with the green plants growing out of the dirt when a ball fell in front of me. It surprised me yet again. Twice in a row? That was funny odds.

"Hey, could you toss me that?"

I knew that voice…

When I looked up, I saw that same smile I saw the day before. It was Riku again. I looked down at the ball before tossing it to him again. He didn't ask me any more questions about myself today.

"Want to play kickball?" asked Riku, saying it the same way he did the day before. It sounded so sincere that I was about to take that offer. But I saw that red haired kid standing a few feet behind him so I only shook my head 'no'.

"Well, Sora, if you want to play with me, I would be happy if you did."

That was all he said with that smile before he turned and walked away. With the passing days, I refused to play with him but little did I know, I was. Because, you see, Riku always "accidentally" kicked that ball over to me and he would say, "Hey, could you toss me that?" but not ask me to play; only walked away. Honestly, I was very confused but then as the days went on and those "accidental" kicks happened more frequently, I understood perfectly.

It was like a game of toss that lasted day after day after day and, I don't know how it really happened but, me and Riku were playing an actual game of kickball. With the exclusion of the red haired kid though. He stopped hanging around Riku when he started to play with me.

Soon we even starting talking and played all day. We were…friends. Riku was my first actual friend and I was…happy.

But that all changed when Riku's family moved away, taking Riku with them. I was heartbroken and was alone and teased again, reverting back to my loner ways. Days turned to weeks, weeks turned into months, and months into years. Years and years with nothing. No Riku to play with me, no nothing. Only me and my brother who was very distant with everything that moved, even me.

Though Riku wasn't gone forever. It was a few years back from now, three I think that I was new to high school in a new town my family had moved to, walking the halls by myself. Just as my youth, I kept my eyes down at my feet as I walked before a bottle of water rolled in front of me, bumping my feet.

"Hey, could you toss me that?" asked a voice that made my heart jump insanely.

I knew that voice…

I was right when I looked up to see a charming, kind smile from a boy that had such strange hair. But the boy was older now. Just like me. He was so much taller, more handsome and if it wasn't for that smile and funny hair, I wouldn't have guessed that it was Riku.

"Hi, Sora," he said in a tone that was as if he were glad to see me, the smile only reassuring it. "It's been a while."

I didn't say anything. Not a word. Only dropped my books and ran into his arms that welcomed me with a hug without hesitation.

*And that was how Riku and I became friends for the rest of our high school days and I'm still happy. Still glad that he kicked that ball over to me every day at the park. I never felt lonely after that. Riku wouldn't _let_ me feel lonely. He spent all his time with me and I spent all my time with him. He didn't even seem bothered when I followed him around and sat next to him in our classes. We were always partners in something and our study groups only had two members: me and him.

The bell rang and I snapped out of my memory, little did I know I was smiling to myself. I miss Riku, I really do. I gathered up my things for the day at school was now over.

"Hey, look at that," I hear someone whisper and I turned my head to see a small group of four boys talking to each other, all looking at me.

I noticed one specific boy. One with wild, fire red hair. He was looking right at me while muttering something to another boy who grinned at me. I felt a horrible uneasiness in my stomach and I wished Riku was here to reassure me, to protect me. He was still looking at me, green eyes holding something I didn't want to read. I only turned away and walked back home as quickly as I could.


	3. The Invite

"Sora, you're being paranoid," Roxas grumbled at me as he prodded his school lunch with a fork, a look of distaste on his face.

"No, I'm not," I argued with my brother, feeling irritated at him even though he was always so uncaring like this. "It happened yesterday and now all day today."

What I'm trying to tell my brother is that someone has been following me everywhere at school. And I think its students too.

"I can hear them whispering about me, Roxas," I tried to explain to my blond haired twin as we sat outside on one of the lunch tables behind the cafeteria. "When I turn around, the same guys are standing there, whispering about me."

Roxas made a sigh, blinking slowly and I knew he was trying to keep his patience with me. He didn't like it but he always did try to listen to my problems. I just wished my brother would do the same to me.

"Maybe they're not talking about you and you see them out of coincidence. This is a small school after all," he replied in his bored tone as he pushed away the lunch tray, not finding it worth his interest any longer.

"Maybe, but still…I think something's up," I murmured, mostly to myself as I looked down at the table, lost in thought.

_**Bzzz-bzzz-bzzz**_

That was my cell!

I reached into my pocket and pulled out the vibrating phone, Riku's name flashing on the small screen on the front and wow I was excited.

"Hey, Riku!" I exclaimed with a lot of joy after I flipped my cell phone open, pressing it eagerly to my ear.

"Hey there, Sora," Riku greeted in his usual upbeat tone, "How are you? I miss you."

"I miss you too…" I murmured rather softly, feeling a stab of sadness in my chest. "Everything sucks here without you." But then I remembered something Riku told me last night. "I can't wait for you to visit after school!"

The line went silent for a moment and I almost though we got cut off until he finally spoke.

"I don't think I can make it," said Riku, sounding a bit disappointed with himself.

Now that hurt…a lot. Once again Riku had something else to do that kept him from seeing me. It wasn't fair!

"But Riku, you promised!" I whined at him, being sure Riku could hear how upset I was about this.

"I know, Sora, I'm sorry," replied Riku, his tone full of guilt that I couldn't be mad at. "Next time, ok? I promise I'll come visit you."

"Yeah sure, until something else comes up and you ditch me again," I snapped at him, my voice making it obvious that I started crying.

Why did I have to be constantly reminded of Riku leaving me?

Before I could let Riku say anymore to me, I snapped the phone shut, hanging up on him. Then I felt arms wrap around me as I cried. It was Roxas. It's been years since the last time he willingly hugged me. At least it made me feel a little better, but I still cried on his shoulder until the bell rang for our next class.

I didn't want to leave my brother's hug since it may be the only one I will ever get after this day. But I had to so I collected my books, wiped my tears and said goodbye to Roxas before heading to class.

As I walked down the hall, someone bumped into my shoulder and I almost dropped my books, but luckily I held onto them.

"My bad," he simply said and slowed his pace a bit.

I made the mistake of looking up at him, my eyes meeting intense green ones. The boy's face was so close to mine. He was looking right down at me, his face only a few inches from mine. I felt my heart stop for a second before I looked away and walked off in a hurry, hearing talk and laughs behind me.

The rest of the day, it was pretty much the same thing over and over again. Everywhere I looked, there he would be, looking at me and saying something to his gang of friends. They had been doing the same thing this morning. Too bad Roxas didn't believe me.

I went to my locker, opened it and exchanged my books and closed the metal door and behind it was the red head leaning against the locker a few feet down from me, looking at me. He had this…grin that made me uneasy, like he knew something I didn't. Every time I crossed the grassy yard, I saw him leaning against the tall chain link fence grinning and staring at me.

It was freaking me out! When the bell rang, I hurried out of my class and made my way to the parking lot since I had to cut through there to get to the street my house was on.

"Hey!" called a voice I remembered hearing from earlier.

I lifted my gaze and saw the weird guy looking at me as he leaned against his fancy red sports car, arms crossed as if he owned it all.

"You're Sora, right?" he asked me with an interested sort of look as he pushed himself off the car and walked over to me. I even took a few steps away from him and that made him laugh.

"I've seen you around." Really? I wouldn't have guessed! "Sorry about the hallway thing, I never was one for paying attention."

"Its fine," I muttered back, looking down at the ground since I was starting to feel panicked from the attention.

"What I'm trying to say is; I noticed you looking pretty upset today," he explained with a slight sigh as he put his hands in his pockets.

He noticed that? Well, he was staring at me all day and since Riku bailed on me. That's right…he did ditch me. He was supposed to meet me after school but now I have to walk home all on my own.

"I was wondering if you'd like to come to a party tonight, it'll cheer you up," said Axel with a bright grin, trying to reassure me. "I'm thinking you could use some fun with me as your date."

"I don't think I can…" I murmured so softly I would be surprised if the guy heard me.

A party? Yeah right. I can't even talk to this guy let alone be in a whole room of people.

"That's too bad but I guess you have made plans with someone else, never mind then," he said with a shrug and turned away from me.

"Wait," I said, the word just jumping out of my mouth and it was too late for me to stop.

I would have other plans but now I don't. I was sick of waiting for Riku. Maybe I should go…I wouldn't be alone…right?

"Ok, I'll go," I stammered, feeling my stomach do several flips and I gripped my binder so hard my fingers were numb.

The red head turned around and gave a bright smile, looking glad to hear my agreement.

"That's great!" he said, more like exclaimed and I couldn't help but smile at his enthusiasm. "I'll pick you up at seven and we can hang out. I'm Axel by the way."

I said OK and gave him my number and address, feeling almost excited about this. I didn't need Riku. I could have fun on my own. That'll show him for ditching me!


	4. It's Party Time

I knew this was a bad idea the minute I got into Axel's car when he picked me up right on time. I was freaking out. I was grateful that Axel kept things easy between us. We hardly talked and he kept his eyes on the road. It was like he didn't even know I was there and that's how I liked it.

When he got to the house where the party was, I was more nervous then ever. The place was PACKED! Just being around one person made me uncomfortable but it was like the whole school was here…

"Hell yeah, it's party time," said Axel excitedly as he smacked the steering wheel with his hands before opening his door and getting out.

If Axel hadn't opened my side of the door, I wouldn't have gotten out of the car.

_*I can do this,_ I told myself mentally, taking a deep breath before I forced myself to get out of Axel's car.

"Just relax, Sora, we're here to have fun," said Axel encouragingly as he draped an arm around my shoulders and led me towards the house, the pounding music pulsating my insides around.

Like the music, my anxiety grew more and more powerful within my body, shaking my insides and fighting to burst free. That arm around my shoulder sent electrical bolts shooting into my skin and zapping at my nerves, making me flinch ever so slightly. I didn't want to be rude when Axel was trying to help me. So far he's been quite nice.

"Hey, Axel, 'bout time you got here," said a teen that I recognized as one of Axel's friends and he was looking at me with a weird grin. "I see you've brought a date."

"Yeah, and we're planning on having one hell of a time," replied Axel as he exchanged a strange sort of handshake with his friend which involved fist bumping and palm slapping.

Why did I get a weird feeling about all this? In all honesty…it was freaking me out.

_*I want to go home…_ I wanted to say but that pulsing music just pounded my voice and courage down into my stomach where it twisted and churned to the point I may be sick.

"Come on, Sora, we better get inside before all the drinks are gone," said Axel over the music and shouting, a grin on his face that made me nervous.

But I nodded and let him lead me into that house where the noise nearly broke me apart. Literally. Even though the door was wide open, the shock wave of sound slammed into me like someone hitting a gong. That ringing vibration shooting through my body and almost shattered my eardrums.

Everyone moved around me like one solid mass of color and smells – mostly alcohol and cigarettes which made me cough and get dizzy.

Looking up at Axel for help did little; he was too busy talking to friends and other students from school. There were even kids here that I've never seen before.

"Hey there," said a large guy with black dreadlocks who smirked at me and grabbed my arm. "How about you and I go party upstairs huh?"

He sounded drunk, his speech a little slurred and his cheeks were a little flushed, but his grip was firm on my small arm.

"Let go!" I demanded as he I tried to pull free, panic twisting around in my body.

"Back off," growled Axel as he pulled the guy's hand off me and shoved him away.

A wave of relief washed over me when I saw Axel defend me, barking at the guy to get lost and he did.

"You okay?" asked Axel in a humored tone, an airy smile on his lips and the smell of alcohol permeated from this breath.

"Y-Yeah…I think so…" I muttered, still a little panicked by the incident.

Suddenly I wanted to be anywhere but here!

"Come on, let me get you a drink so you can chill," Axel offered with more insisting than concern, his arm going around me and pulling me off towards the kitchen.

"No! I-I don't drink!" I stammered with alarm and I started squirming to try to escape Axel's hold on me.

"Don't be a wimp, Sora; you're here to have some fun! Live a little!" he kept insisting his arm keeping a tight hold on me and I couldn't get away.

Maybe I was over reacting…? What do I have to lose? Riku? He's already lost to me. He abandoned me. This was his entire fault! Before I knew it, a red plastic cup was pushed into my hands and looking down at it, I saw it was filled with a golden brown drink with a thin layer of white foam over it.

Beer…

"Go on, have a sip," Axel egged me on, gesturing with his own cup for me to drink from my own. "You're a party for Christ's Sake! You want to have fun or not? It'll help you out, man!"

With a moment of hesitation, I started at the cup before lifting it slowly upwards until I felt the rim pressing against the lip. It was now or never…maybe it won't be so bad. Just a little sip won't hurt.

Opening my mouth I let it drain past my lips, letting it slosh against my tongue and causing me to cough.

It was awful!!

"Yuck!" I exclaimed, pushing the cup away from me and I vigorously wiped my mouth on my sleeve.

Laughing, Axel patted me on the back before taking a gulp of his beer.

"Don't worry, you'll get used to it before the nights over," he reassured me with a grin before pouring a bottle of beer into my cup to refill it even more than before. "You're pretty fun, I should bring you out more often."

I smiled at him a little but said nothing. I couldn't say anything for there was nothing to say.

"Come on, let's mingle a bit," he said, his arm going back around my shoulder and he guided me through the house.

He said hi to a lot of people. Many guys and girls who seemed to know him pretty well. Was Axel popular or something? I only walked along side him quietly, occasionally taking small sips from my cup which I was getting a bit used to. It still left a bad aftertaste in my mouth. I didn't know if it was the loud music, the drinking or the smell of smoke but I was starting to get a headache.

He made our way into the living room, Axel still being greeted by many and me just coasting along. But then…

"Hah! Riku, you're a riot!" exclaimed a girl in amusement, her laughter breaking through the thick wall of music and chattering.

Riku?

Looking up quickly I saw across the room, sitting on a couch beside a red haired girl, was Riku. Of all people in the world…it was Riku.

Gradually realization kicked in and I know exactly what was going on. Forgetting about Axel, my eyes fixed on Riku; I pulled away and started walking towards him with conviction and I had only one thing in mind.

"So I was standing there in the room with th-" Riku was explaining with such enthusiasm in his voice as he told his story.

Oh how it didn't last long. He stopped in midsentence, eyes wide as he looked right at me as I stood in front of him, staring back.

"S-Sora…" he gasped and I noticed his body going ridged a shocked look on his face that made me relish the moment.

"Hey, Riku," I greeted with a snippy smugness to my tone as I glared at him and tried not to lose it. "Nice seeing you here, having fun? I sure am."

"What are you doing here Sora?" questioned Riku with a frown as he got up suddenly, sounding angry with me which in turn made me angry.

"I should ask you the same thing, Riku!" I snapped back at him, my voice on the verge of shouting and I didn't care that people were watching and listening. "Was this why you couldn't make it after school Riku? Because you'd rather be at a party?"

"Don't push this on me, Sora!" he growled, hands in fists but I knew he wouldn't hurt me.

It only made me feel more powerful and triumphant. But it also hurt me too. It hurt me deeply like a knife being twisted into my chest.

"You lied to me you asshole!" I continued to shout at him, my body trembling with my anger towards Riku. I could just feel the tears pooling. "All that crap you said about being my friend was a damn lie! You'd rather ditch me and be here with some girl! I hate you!"

Lifting the drink, I threw it at him, the stunned look on his face made me relish the misery I must have caused him. I backed away, wanting to run from him. He reached out to me but his arm was caught by the red haired girl and he did nothing.

…Nothing!

It nearly killed me. I turned and I ran for it. Ran away from Riku's voice trying to call me back and I ignored it completely. I was blinded with tears and swimming thoughts as I ran through the rooms and crowds of people. Down the hall I went, to the end where a door was open. I ran inside and flung the door shut behind me.

There in the empty room, the music only a muffled sound, I collapsed on the edge of the bed and cried.

"Sora…you in here?" asked a curious voice that wasn't Riku like I somewhat hoped for.

No, it was Axel.

I didn't reply, only curled up and hid my face, wanting it all too just go away. Why did I come here? I should have just stayed home and ignorantly believed that Riku was busy helping his grandmother or something. Anything would have been better than this.

"Hey, man, don't sweat it, ok?" murmured Axel as he came into the room and closing the door behind him, his tone almost…comforting.

He came over and sat next to me. Looking up at him with my red puffy eyes I saw he had two cups in his hand and he was watching me curiously.

"You know that guy back there?" he asked, meaning Riku.

"Yes," I replied in a choked voice as he looked away from him and rubbed my eyes. "He was my best friend, until he ditched me."

"Man, that's heavy, so not cool," stated Axel airily as he set the cups on the floor and sat me up with firm hands. Then he handed me a drink. "Here, have some of this, it'll make you feel better man."

"Is…he still out there? I don't want to leave here if he's still out there," I told him, not thinking much of the drink as I started sipping from it, not totally used to the taste.

"Nah, he left after you doused him," said Axel with a slight frown and a shrug but then grinned at me. "Which was pretty cool, by the way."

I smiled a little at that and drank the rest of my cup so that it was empty. Why did it bother me that there wasn't any more left. At least it did make him feel better. Less pain but it made my head feel a little light.

"Here, you need it more than I do," chuckled Axel as he handed me his cup which I took without much thought and began downing it.

I drank it all and felt almost…strange. I head was all foggy and sloshed around like water in a jug.

"You know, Sora, you should worry about that creep," stated Axel as he turned to me, his hand touching my cheek. It felt like ice. "He doesn't care about you like I do."

"You…do?" I asked, more like mumbled as he head spun around which made me confused.

"Yeah, I like you, and I'll show you how much I do right now."

With that said, he leaned in, his face getting closer and closer until his lips pressed against mine. It startled me and I tried to pull away but his arms went around me and pulled me close, his lips connecting with mine again.

"Nnn…no!" I gasped as I pulled away again, my head hurting with confusion. "This…this is weird. I can't…"

"Is it that guy you'd rather make out with?" questioned Axel as he looked down at me, his face darkened a little which scared me.

"I….I don't know…" I whimpered, looking up at him in fear for the question caught me by surprise and once again I was reminded of how Riku betrayed me.

It crushed me and I simply weakened in Axel's hold.

"I'd rather have you first," he remarked with a sinister grin as he began to press down on me.

The room was spinning; I was lying on a bed and felt sick and drunk out of my mind. It was dark but the light from the street laps dimmed the room in a faint orange glow. In the background, I could hear the muffled sounds of music and chatter. The sounds of a party that I wound up at and then had too many.

"Don't worry, you'll enjoy this," said the voice of a red head I had thought was my friend who I see hovering over me with his shirt off.

"No…" I tried to say in protest, though it came out mumbled and almost unheard, I couldn't think straight.

I tried to push him off but he had pinned down both my wrists, my body not having any strength left and it was hard to keep my eyes open at this point.

"It'll be fun, you'll see," he said again, that friend who I thought I could rely on when the person I cared about most deserted me.

*'_Riku…'_ The one thought that I could put into my head without it being all muddled out with the alcohol. The one person I needed the most at this moment but had already pushed away. '_Help me…'_

He began to strip me with rough hands and he ignored any sound I made of protest. I didn't want this. I didn't want to be naked in front of this person who I knew will harm me. But I did not fully understand his true intentions.

I could feel his hands on me, those cold hands that were running up and down my nude flesh and it made me shiver with disgust. I wanted to pull away but couldn't. I couldn't move, couldn't do anything at all. Only lay here and let Axel have his way with me.

His hands slid down my sides, over my hips and I felt them brush the member between my legs, a spot that not even I touch.

"A-AH!" I gasped in shock, the feeling sending a sickening wave through me and I pressed my thighs together in reaction. "N-No….don't touch me there…"

He laughed at my pleas.

"Kind of small, but not that bad," he said as his fingers ran over it, just teasing me organ and it made my body get hot.

"Stop!" I whimpered, his head turning from one side to the other, my fingers gripping the pillow tightly.

His hand was pulled away and for a second, I thought I was spared. But then I felt him touching my thighs with one hand and I heard the sound of a zipper. Getting a glance down, I saw the erect muscles which was pulled out of Axel's pants and fear made me feel ice cold. He was…

"Be a good boy and scream for daddy," he said with a grin, hands forcing my thighs open and legs up and before I knew it, I was forced into.

I did scream. The pain of being ripped and forced into brought burning tears to my eyes and my whole body to shudder. Oh god it hurt and no one could hear me!

He was moving already. Moving so roughly inside of me and I sobbed and cried out for him to stop but he only thrust harder.

"Oh, yeah," he said with a satisfied breath as he grinned wickedly down at me, his fingers gripping my thighs up in the air so painfully as he repeatedly violated me.

"No! No more…stop….please stop!" I cried and begged with tears pouring down my cheeks, fingers twisting at the pillow, the hard thrusts causing me to gasp and even stop breathing for a moment.

"You want to know something?" he questioned with quickened breath, his body already gleaming with sweat as he looked down at me with blazing green eyes. "I've always wanted to fuck the weird kid. Ever since I saw you in the park, playing in the dirt."

"You…it was you?" I gasped in horror and realization.

Even though I could hardly understand, I knew clearly what he meant. When I was small and sat all by myself at the park…where I met Riku. Axel was…that red haired boy?

I was tricked. Oh god I was tricked by Axel! He didn't bring me here to be my friend… it was all just for this!

*'_Riku! Oh, Riku!'_

Axel knew Riku. Another trick. Axel pretended to not know who Riku was to gain my trust…Oh God!!

"You feel better than I thought, you're so easy," he remarked to me, his lips against my ear before he pulled back and started slamming into me with hard and faster thrusts, his head falling back as me moaned.

I could hardly make a sound, my throat raw with crying and I felt dead. Completely dead and I lay there as if I were, letting him finish what he wanted with me. I was numb.

Soon it was finally over. He came inside of me, I could feel it. I felt sick but didn't care anymore.

"You're hot," he told me, his fingers tugging my hair before he kissed me with more roughness. "I'll see you around."

And just like that, he was gone. He just dressed himself, smirked at me and simply left. Leaving me alone in that room with blood and cum coming out of me, my body quivered as I finally broke down into new sobs. My whole body hurt so badly. I couldn't move while I was left there to lay in what had just happened. I was alone and used.

'_Riku…Riku…I'm so sorry…Riku…'_


	5. Letter of Apology

**Author's Note:** Wow this is really late! I had NO idea that I was going to be working on this again! I just had a sudden burst of inspiration while I was just sitting and watching a movie with my dad. It was weird! I already know how I'm going to map out this story and I think there's only going to be a couple more chapters and I'm still debating if I want Sora and Riku to hook up in the end or just keep them very dear friends. I'll let you readers decide! It's up to you! Leave a **REVIEW** letting me know what **YOU** want to happen in the end! I like knowing what my readers think and feel about my writing so it'll be a great help! I'm sorry that this one is very poorly written. I felt more connected to the story and the character in the previous chapters because it was still fresh in my mind and I was rather unfamiliar with the story while I was writing this chapter! I feel so ashamed! But I hope it's still good and stuff like that. I really wanted them to make up hehe even though I was going to wait another chapter to so. But I can't keep Sora and Riku apart of long~

Anyway, hope you enjoy this chapter and reviews are loved! Keep on rock'n!

* * *

"Is he still in bed? It's been almost a week…"

"I'm getting really worried."

"Does he really feel that sick? What if it's something serious?"

"He just needs time. Give him a little space."

I could hear them…right outside my door. It's been like that for the many days I've been in bed, too afraid to face the world which hurt me so badly.

No…it wasn't world…it was the two people I let get too close and in their own way, they broke me down to nothing. The only one I can trust is my brother, Roxas.

Tighter I curled up under my blankets, those being the source of my comfort and my safety even though the very place I was defiled was a bed.

It wasn't my bed…it was someone else's…at a party…

_"…I like you…"_

_"I've always wanted to fuck the weird kid. Ever since I saw you in the park, playing in the dirt."_

_"…You're so easy…"_

_"I'll see you around…"_

His words still haunt me. I can hear them almost as clear as if he were over me saying it to me in that cruel voice he used as he attacked me.

Axel… That name brought so much fear and pain to rise up within me, keeping me confined to my room. I was terrified that he would find me and hurt me again. Some nights…more like every night, I would have nightmares of him crawling in through my window and crawl onto my bed where he would rip away my clothes and take my body viciously over and over again. I would always wake up screaming and crying and was only comforted when Roxas would come to me.

And…there was Riku…

Pain twisted in my heart which still felt as fresh as ever, as if the pain of my betrayal was still new. Just the thought of him brought tears to my eyes and I can't help but cry every time I think of how much I trusted him and how he lied and abandoned me. He just left me at the mercy of a heartless guy who raped me.

Finally the voices beyond my door went away and I was able to be left in silence…

"Sora…you awake?"

Roxas…my twin brother…

_It was so late…the party was dwindling to an end…everyone was going home, having enough of their fill of fun. I was…alone. I must have been there for hours…just lying there on the bed I lost my virginity on. No…I didn't lose it, it was taken from me in an act of pure cruelty and deception. There was no thought going through my mind and the only thing that I could remember after that night, was the face of my brother hovering over me with the most terrified look I've ever seen him have. It was the first time in all my years of knowing him that I've seen him have true emotion expressed on his face. He was…shouting at me and even…crying. Yes, my brother cried. He was thought of as cold and heartless but on that night, I watched my brother cry as he held my soiled body and I cried with him. I didn't ask how he found me there and I didn't tell him how it happened to me. Nothing about Axel or Riku. I haven't spoken since that night… Yet my gentle, loving brother was by my side regardless of the secrets I kept from him…_

In response, I only made a faint sound which I had to force out of me. I didn't want to make any noise. It was too much effort and I was tired. If only I could disappear…

From under my covers, I felt the mattress slope down as my brother sat beside me and soon I felt his gentle hand upon my shoulder.

He didn't say a word and didn't have to. I could feel it through the bond we shared as twin brothers. We were once one and became two to be the completion of the other. At least that's what Roxas would say to me whenever I felt alone and sad while growing up. Someone it brought me comfort even to this day.

"Sora…I…" Roxas began but stopped and I just knew he was having a hard time trying to express his thoughts gently. By nature, Roxas was blunt and outspoken and didn't care who was hurt by his words. When Roxas was speechless like this, almost hesitant, I just knew he was trying his best to be kind to me and that there was something really important he needed to tell me. "Riku…"

_That name!_

Quickly I jerked away from my brother touch, feeling the horrible pain of thinking of Riku again. How could Roxas say such a thing? I was hurt to hear that from the only person I trusted right now but…Roxas didn't know…

I could see it on his face that he was surprised and worried by my action but instead of asking questions, he moved quickly and pulled me into a comforting embrace, one I was willing to accept with my own and I cried against his chest. All my feelings just seemed to slip out whenever I thought of Riku.

"I think…it's time you looked at this…" said Roxas softly after I calmed down and was able to keep myself from losing it and he placed an envelope in my hand. "I know there's something going on, Sora, and I know it involves Riku too…so it's important that read this…"

Getting up, he kissed the top of my head and left the room, closing the door behind him. Everything in me wanted to call out to him to come back and stay with me but I had no voice. That was taken too. I no longer had a voice to speak with. No one could hear me…

But in my hand sat the envelope, one I nearly forgot.

'_What can it be?'_ I wondered to myself as I turned it over and over in my hand, wondering what could be inside and why Roxas said it was important that I looked at it.

Gingerly, as if I were afraid there would be a snake hidden within the folding, I took out a folded piece of paper. All it said on it was: **Sora, Please Read!**

I was overtaken with my curiosity for the thing I was holding. For some reason, the neat bold writing seemed so very familiar. Like I've seen it many times before but at the moment the remembrance escaped me. Ever so slowly I unfolded the letter and began to still familiar writing fitted so perfectly on the margins:

"_Sora,_

_This may be the very last thing you wish to have from me but shamefully I was reduced to such a cowardly act. I called you, many times, but I got no response…"_

The reason for that no response was the fact that I kept my phone off the whole time. I didn't have the heart to receive any sort of calls or messages. I was dead to the world…

_"…I was…so worried. Ever second I am haunted by the memory of what happened that night at the party…"_

The party… this was a letter about the party?! Chilling fear took over me and as if burned, I threw the paper aside. What was this?! A cruel joke? Why? Why did Roxas give this to him? Why was this person writing to him about what happened that night almost a week ago?

There were so many questions spinning through my head I felt dizzy and wanted to cry once more but my eyes were sore and were sick of tears. I hardly had much left. But that paper, open and resting on the bed seemed to lure me back to it. I had to know…

"_I wish I could express so much more through this letter but I am unable to… The words I must tell you can't be said on this piece of paper. It must be said in person. I need to see you….desperately. Please, let me see you, Sora! I need to explain to you the truth, to apologize, and beg for your forgiveness. You're the most important person I've ever had in my life…"_

My heart was pounding in my chest and it was roaring in my ears, almost making it difficult to read such words in my hand. More and more I was beginning to understand where this letter came from. Who wrote it and what this person was trying to tell me. I was burning! I wanted to throw this filthy thing away but I was glued to it, my fingers ripping the edges to make sure I didn't lose it.

"_Sora, please, let me explain, let me see you! I fear the worst of what may have happened to you. I can never forgive myself for letting you go that night, for making you think I don't care for you, for…making you hate me. I deserved your hate. Every bit of it and I hate myself. Truly hate my very being for hurting you. _

_I need to see you…I want to see you so badly I am nearly going mad with the guilt I hold in my heart. I don't want to have such things there. I only want you to be there, in my heart, where you always were and where you will always remain if you grant me this one request…"_

Now I knew, without a doubt, which this letter belonged to. The handwriting, the style of words, all the things mentioned; the heart and affection that was put into this letter… It was that this letter came from…

"_Sincerely Yours,_

_Riku"._

I…I couldn't breathe. My lungs were being crushed by my own restricting chest that tried to smother my pounding heart. Of all the things…it seemed that my cursed fate brought me this letter, a small window that could lead me back to Riku.

No! I wasn't going to go back! Not after the way he tossed me aside like that! Like I wasn't important and some other girl was more worth his time than me. But still…

'_I knew it all along… I knew it was going to happen…. That he would lose interest in me. He's in college now. He's ahead of me…'_

The more I thought of this, the more I came to terms with this, the more I allowed myself to realize, the more it truly hurt. The reality was sinking in and I hated it.

'_I am worthless to me… He wanted to be rid of me…"_

But why would he want to see me? Why would he put so much painful emotions in his writings? I didn't think I wanted to know the answer for I thought I already knew it. Riku didn't need to explain anything to me because it was obvious from the starts.

Without me knowing, I was dripping tears onto Riku's letter. I just couldn't escape him. He always chased after me when I would run away and try to hide. He didn't give me a single chance to be alone to suffer. Now…now it's different…

'_If he cared about me so much…if he really did worry about me…then why didn't he come here and tell me? Why didn't he chase after me and tell me that everything was going to be ok…'_

That's just the thing; nothing is ok and never will be. That's when I made the choice to crumple up that letter and throw it to the farthest part of my room, glad to see it disappear in a heap of other discarded things like papers and other junk.

"Are you going to see him?"

The sudden voice made me jump with surprise and I saw it was Roxas standing at the door as if appearing from thin air.

He was watching me with careful eyes and I could tell he was thinking many things, more than I could ever comprehend or ever wish to. I was forced to look away from him, though I could still feel those eyes gazing at me, just waiting for my answer which I just couldn't give.

I didn't know myself. Should I go and see him or…should I hide away in my room for the rest of my life? I don't need Riku…

'_That's not true…I do need Riku…I always have and always will…Riku I'm so sorry…'_

Looking back up at Roxas, I nodded and said, "Yes."

I was amazed with the sound that left my mouth. It seemed I really do have a voice after all. I wanted to see him. I couldn't fight it in the least. No matter how many times I tried to tell myself that I hated him and didn't want to see him; the reality was that I desperately wanted him here with me. I wanted him to hug me tightly like he used to; for him to smile at me like I was just so amazing and important. I…I couldn't forget that night, after everything happened to me…I remember trying to call out to him. I remember how sorry I was for saying I hated him and throwing my drink in his face and for running away from him.

I was so crushed. So hurt that I didn't have the real heart to face him. I was too scared but now…

Getting up from the bed, I slowly made my way over to the corner where I threw the letter. Walking was still really difficult, the pain still staying with me like a horrible curse. I found the letter and uncrumpled it.

Somehow, by just looking at his words, I felt like I was actually looking at him and I held it tightly against my chest.

"Riku…"

There, I made up my mind finally and turned to my brother again, eyes looking right into his.

"Call him…" I said to Roxas, my voice still weak even though I felt a rolling wave of sureness rise up within my chest. Now or never, I had to see Riku.

I was breathless when Riku stepped into my room, invading my sanctuary. I haven't seen him since that night at the party and he looked so profoundly different.

His hair was a mess just pulled back into a ponytail; not it's long sleek beauty. He was thinner too; almost sickly looking as if he hasn't eaten. Riku no longer had his amazingly toned body. And his eyes… there was so much pain and sadness in his eyes that it made me want to fall to my knees and cry.

Even though we've been apart for almost a week, I just knew that he was suffering too. That he truly did care about me. That I wasn't alone when I was in pain.

When Riku saw me, he didn't even make a move towards me but in his eyes I could see that it was killing him to stay away. That he was truly happy – like me – to be reunited once more.

"If you hurt my brother, I will hurt you beyond comprehension," growled Roxas under his breath as he kept close to Riku's side, being the protective older half that he was. He was giving Riku the death glare.

"I would never hurt Sora," he said back to my brother with equal coldness before his features became softer when he looked at me, even his tone changed, "I would never hurt you, Sora. I came here to tell you that I'm sorry for what I've done and to explain what really happened…Please…"

Again my heart was pounding so loud and hard that I could hardly hear Riku but I knew what he was saying. All I wanted was to run to him and have him hug me like he always did.

"Roxas…I want to talk to Riku alone, please," I said to my twin, looking at him with pleading eyes for he wasn't going to back down easy.

But to my surprise he did, just giving a growl before backing out of the room and shutting the door. When his footsteps faded, I opened my mouth to say something but was cut off by the sudden movement of the male in front of me. I was in his arms all of a sudden and he was holding him tightly against his chest.

'_He's so warm…Riku's chest is so warm…Oh, Riku…where have you been?'_

"Why?" I whispered, my need to know the truth overriding my desire to be held again by the person I treasured more than myself in this world. "Why didn't you meet me that day? Why did you abandon me?"

I was looking up into his face, wanting to find the answer desperately and to know the truth. I was hoping so desperately that it wasn't what concluded earlier: that he wanted to be rid of me.

"I tried to explain it to you…that first day…" he whispered softly to me, the expression of sadness on his face breaking my heart into pieces.

'_That's right… I was so angry at Riku for canceling on me that I hung up…'_

"I couldn't meet you because my cousin was in town and I had to spend the day with her while she was visiting," he went on to explain, his arms still tight around my body but was still so very gentle.

Realization hit me like a train; nearly stunning me and making my thoughts go blank for a second before going into overdrive to make me remember that night. Riku was there at the party with that girl…was she…

"Kairi heard of a big party which she wanted to go to and I went with her to keep her out of trouble. I was so caught up in the moment…I should have called you…I shouldn't have let it happen because then you wouldn't have hated me…" his voice was breaking when tears began to well up in his eyes. "I've done the cruelest thing to you and I can never forgive myself for not going after you…"

"Why didn't you?" I asked him, wanting to know that too as I felt tears in my eyes too which slipped down my cheeks but I didn't care and just ignored them as I watched only Riku. "I…I needed you but you never came for me…"

"I tried, really I did," he replied back quickly, despite to tell me all that he knew.

"They said you left!"

"No, the forced me out," Riku snapped back sharply, making me flinch. "I'm sorry. I tried to go after you when you ran off but that guy and his friends ganged up on me and threw me out. They were even going to hurt Kairi if I didn't leave. I drove back home to get help and I told Roxas what happened…"

I was wrong. So very wrong. Riku didn't leave me. He really did try to come after me but he just couldn't. I was so very wrong and now I was sobbing against his chest. Riku should be the one hating me!

"I'm so sorry, Riku!" I cried into his shoulder, my voice a little muffled but Riku held me anyway. "I was so angry…I put you through so much…I'm so sorry…"

'_But I still haven't told him…'_

Everything in me froze when that thought entered my mind. I still hadn't told Riku about what happened. What Axel had done to me after I ran away from Riku.

'_No…I can't tell him…I can never tell him!'_

"I'm going to protect you from now on Sora, I promise," Riku said to me, bringing me out of my horrible thoughts.

I looked up into his face again and I saw the gentle and loving Riku that was always been there. The boy that used to play with me at the park and became my first true friend.

I believed what he said. I knew he was going to protect me and I truly knew that everything was going to be okay just as long as he was with Riku again.

Everything was going to be ok…

* * *

**Kingdom Hearts Charaters(c)Square Enix & Disney**

**Fanfic idea and fic itself(c)Lady Melodist  
**


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